Urgent Notice: Potential Danger of Horse Hair
This is a public service announcement. In a press release today, the National Institute of Health has announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of horses. This substance, called “amobacter equuii” has been linked with the following symptoms in female humans:
- reluctance to cook
- reluctance to perform house work
- reluctance to wear anything but boots
- reluctance to work except in support of a horse physical craving for contact with horses (may be an addiction).
Beware! If you come in contact with a female human infected by this substance, be prepared to talk about horses for hours on end.
Surgeon General’s Warning: Horses are expensive, addictive, and may impair the ability to use common sense.